Begin Again
by Cresentmoon2
Summary: Stacie Conrad is drowning. Trying to run from her past and recent events, she's struggling to keep her friends and life. Then there's the matter of Dr. Mason Drake. She likes him but can't be with him because doing that will either save her or kill her. Could he help Stacie finally face her past and live her life or will it catch up to her and ruin everything that she's worked for.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- This is the sequel to Starting Over and I really recommend reading that before starting this. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you like it:)**

 **Chapter 1**

Stacie

 _I run upstairs as fast as I can but it's like my feet are stuck in cement. Grunting, I slowly push forward until I reach my bedroom. I instantly go to my nightstand and try opening the drawer but it's locked. I frantically look around until someone taps my shoulder._

" _Looking for these,"Jesse taunts, holding a set of keys in his hand. There's blood all over him and a hole in the middle of his forehead. Suddenly, the gun appears in my hand and Jesse looks normal. He starts flickering in and out, making me dizzy._

" _Do it,"he says and suddenly it's not him but Chloe. "Do it Stacie. We both know you can. You've done it before, haven't you?" I scream and try to put the gun down but instead, my arm moves up until it's pointed at Chloe. She flickers in and out until she turns to Mason Drake._

" _You're not a good friend. She doesn't even know who you really are." He flickers out until Beca stands in front of me. Instead of keys in her hand, she's holding Emily._

" _I won't do it,"I scream at her but I can feel my finger start to tighten around the trigger. "No! Oh god please don't make me do it."_

" _It's what you have to do, Stacie."Beca smiles and flickers out until she's...him. No way. I've tried my hardest to forget him so why would he be here now?_

" _It's who you are,"he says and the gun goes off._

Gasping, I sit up in bed, trying to calm my racing heart. That dream...Why was he in it? It's probably everything that's happened this year. Or last year since it's now officially New Year's. I look at my clock and sigh. It's 4:00 and I know that I definitely won't be going back to sleep. I get dressed and make some coffee before going into my office to work on my newest book. This is the one that features the sexy doctor inspired by the one and only Mason Drake. I haven't seen him since Beca got out of the hospital and many times, I found myself driving that direction before coming to my senses and turning around. He woke something in me that I'm not sure I like. I worked so hard to keep my old self and past locked tight in a box and for some reason since meeting him, they started resurfacing. Like dying my hair back to its natural color. What the hell? I told myself that I would never go back to any of that. Instead, I'm throwing it all out of the window.

I shake those thoughts away and start working on the book. My publisher thinks that I have almost half of it done when really, I have nothing. It's been so hard for me to even get up in the morning that there's no way I could do this book. I have the two main characters. Dr. Jason Armstrong and Jane Oakley. For some reason, I used my middle name for the girl and the guy's name is close to Mason's. It's not like Mason and I will ever get together and now I'm letting my non existent love life take over my romance books. Sighing, I get to writing and once I start, I can't stop. Soon the first couple of chapters are done. Taking a break, I get up and go into the kitchen, making myself a cup of coffee that I had completely forgotten about. My phone rings and I hesitantly answer it, not wanting to be bothered. That tends to be my attitude lately.

"Hey girl,"Beca shouts and I involuntarily smile. "What you up too?"

"Nothing much. I was just starting on my new book. You?"

"Well,"Beca pauses and I sigh, knowing that she wants something. "I was wondering if we could hang out for a little bit. We haven't been able to lately and I really miss you." What she really means is that I'm the reason we haven't hung out and sadly, it's true. As much as I miss her, I can't bring myself to be like we used to. I've always hated pretending around her and as much as I would love to tell her who I really am, I can't. Not without having to admit what a horrible person I am and having to face my past.

"Um.."I start but Beca interrupts.

"Before you say no, I'm outside and I have Emily with me. She really misses her godmother. Please, Stacie." I sigh heavily and tell her yes. She squeals and hangs up before opening the front door.

"There you are,"Beca jokes, coming into the kitchen and setting Emily into my arms. "I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever."

"Yeah,"is all I can say. Emily coos and I hold out my finger for her to hold. She grabs onto it and pulls my finger into her mouth. My heart cracks at the memories and pain of my past trying to break through. Beca makes herself a cup of coffee before sitting on a stool at the island.

"How have you been?" I just shrug, trying hard to ignore Beca's intense gaze. "Stacie, don't lie to me. I know you better than that."

"No you don't,"I mutter and Beca cocks her head to the side.

"What was that?" I just shake my head and adjust Emily in my arms. "Stacie, I'm worried about you. Ever since Jesse-no scratch that-since Aubrey, you've been different. Like you're disappearing and I can't do anything but watch."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I was tortured for days and beaten for several years and yet I'm doing better than you. I can't help but think it's something else that's bothering you. Maybe you should go see someone. It-"

"No!"I shout, startling both of us and I calm down before continuing. "I said I'm fine and I am so just stop pushing. Please." Beca nods and looks down to hide the tears in her eyes, but I see them. My heart breaks knowing that I caused that but there's nothing I can do. She cannot find out my past no matter what.

"She's gotten so big,"I whisper and Beca looks up, her eyes a little brighter than just a second ago.

"Yeah, she's growing up way too fast." Silence descends around us and I look everywhere but her eyes. My eyes drift to her left hand where an engagement ring is.

"Oh my god, Beca! You didn't tell me you and Chloe are engaged." Beca smiles, her whole face lighting up.

"I tried telling you but…"She trails off and I clear my throat to get rid of the lump that formed. I've hurt her so bad by being distant and I can't let her know why.

"I'm so happy for you,"I shout and hug her, careful not to squish Emily. She laughs and hugs me back, all forgiven for the time being. I hand Emily back to her, not wanting to be dragged down by the sorrow threatening to take over.

"Thank you. I'm really excited."

"When are you planning on having the wedding?"

"Hopefully in just a few months. The details aren't worked out just yet but we know we don't want anything too big, just family and close friends. I wanted to ask if you would be my maid of honor?" Now I squeal this time and Beca laughs.

"Of course,"I smile and grab her hand. "I can't wait."

"Me neither. I love Chloe so much. I never thought that after Jesse, I would ever be in love with somebody again. Much less somebody who loves me back." Beca squeezes my hands and my heart warms just from seeing the pure happiness on her face. It's the kind of happiness that I used to think was a myth. Then I met… I shake my head before I let myself think any further than that.

"I'm so happy that you finally found the right person. I don't like Chloe that much but for you, I will try my best."

"Thanks. So anything going on in the romance department for you?" An image of Mason pops into my head but I push it away. I haven't seen him in months and yet I still can't stop thinking of him.

"Nope,"I tell her, Mason's startling blue eyes and charming smile still burning a hole in my mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Mason

"Time of death 2:37,"I call out, blocking out all emotion from my voice. A nurse in the corner writes it down and I storm out of the operating room. I absolutely hate losing people. Granted, I save more people than I lose, but it still sucks. Another thing I absolutely hate is having to tell the family that I couldn't save their loved one. Slouching my shoulders, I walk out into the waiting room. The moment I see the family, I straighten up. I'm a doctor and I have to be strong for them because who else will be?

"Mr. Cortez,"I call out and he turns to me, his wife coming up behind him.

"My son? How is he?" I sigh heavily.

"I'm so sorry. There were some complications and...I couldn't save him." Mrs. Cortez starts wailing and beating on her husbands chest. All the while, he just pulls her close and nods his head at me, eyes moist. I nod back and walk away, hating how everytime I lose somebody, it seems to take some part of me as well. Having to see what some of these families go through, it makes me feel lucky and I am. Very lucky in fact. Both my parents are still alive and I have two very awesome siblings though I would never say that to their face. Speaking of my siblings, my sister is calling me right now.

"What's up Izzy?"

"What's up? That's how you answer the phone? Not, how are you doing today Isabella? I thought you were a doctor and aren't all doctors supposed to be sophisticated?" I laugh.

"How are you doing Isabella?" She giggles and I can practically see the face splitting grin she has on right now.

"I'm very good. College is not what I thought it would be, like at all."

"What did you think it would be like?"

"All parties and laid back classes. Turns out I have no time whatsoever for parties because I have so much fucking homework all the time."

"Language, Izzy,"I warn but she just laughs. "Just because mom and dad aren't there doesn't mean you should cuss."

"Uh it means exactly that. Plus, I think that they would be okay with it since I'm going to Princeton. That's a huge deal you know." I throw my head back in laughter and shake my head. My sister is one interesting person.

"Yes it but you do know I went to Harvard, correct? Anytime I cussed around them, they still bit my head off for it."

"I'm the favorite so they won't get onto me. If anything, they'll throw me a party." Favorite, more like baby. I don't say that though because it always hurts her feelings. My mom and dad had my brother and I and we were happy like that for ten years. Then, my mom got pregnant with Izzy and things got even better and definitely more interesting. It upsets her though since Ethan and I are so far ahead of her. She's afraid we'll leave her behind but what she doesn't know is that Ethan and I would do anything for that girl. She's annoying at times but always fun to be around and I love her to death.

"Yeah, yeah. No need to rub it in my face,"I tease and we both laugh. I gather my stuff and clock out before heading to my car.

"How are you doing?"Izzy asks which brings my mind back to the guy I just lost.

"Good, I lost a patient so I'm going to go home and have a couple of drinks."

"I'm so sorry. I know how hard that is for you." I smile because that's the reason I love my sister so much. She knows me so well and is always there for me.

"Thanks."

"So anybody new in your life?" Stacie comes to mind but I don't say anything and just remain silent. "I'm guessing that means yes. Who is she and do I have to come there to give her the, you hurt him I'll kill you, speech?"

"No,"I laugh. "I only met her like once and haven't even seen her in months."

"How'd you meet?"

"Look, we'll talk about this later. I have to go. Love you Izzy,"I start my car and chuckle at the long sigh Izzy lets out.

"I love you too. If anything happens between you and this girl I will come and give her the sister talk."

"Goodbye Isabella,"I hang up and start driving to my apartment only to realize that I don't have any food there. Sighing from exhaustion, I turn around and drive to the store. The whole way there, I think about Stacie. When I saw her in that waiting room, it felt like time literally stopped. Even with blood covering her, she was stunning. Then, I saw her hazel eyes and they instantly drew me in. Not only that but I could see the wisdom in her eyes. She seems much older than she actually is. I was going to try and find her to ask her out, but she only came to visit her friend once and then disappeared. It was like she was never there. Hell, maybe I'm so desperate for a girlfriend that I imagined someone.

I pull into the parking lot and am so lost in my thoughts that I don't see the person in front of my car until they scream. Stomping on the brake, I close my eyes, not wanting to believe that I actually hit someone. Slowly, I open them and breathe a sigh of relief when the person is still standing up, just staring at me through the windshield. I get out and walk over to them and try not to show my shock when I see that it's Stacie.

"Are you okay?" Stacie flings her head towards me, her eyes meeting mine and it's obvious that she's furious.

"What the fuck? Are you being serious right now? You almost hit me and you're asking if I'm okay?"

"I was just trying to be nice,"I say, holding my hands up. Maybe I was wrong about her. She seemed nice at the hospital but now she's screaming at me in a parking lot. Yes, I almost hit her but still.

"Sorry,"she runs a hand down her face and I notice how exhausted she looks. "It's just… you startled me."

"I promise I didn't mean to almost run you over and I'm so sorry about that. I should've been paying attention."

"No, it's fine. I'm the one who walked out in front of your car. I should know to be careful. It's a fucking parking lot for god's sake."

"It's-"

"Look, we're both sorry so let's just put it at that." I nod and she turns around, walking away.

"Stacie,"I call out and she whips around, a look of horror on her face.

"How do you know my name?"

"I'm the doctor that helped your friend. Mason Drake." She lets out a breath and laughs.

"God I need some sleep. Sorry, I remember who you are now. So what did you need?"

"I was just going to ask if you were okay?" Liar, you were going to ask her out.

"Um yeah. Thanks."

"No problem,"I say but she's already walking away. I watch her until she reaches her car, gets in, and drives away. Dammit Mason. Why'd you let her get away? Izzy's voice rings through my head. _If anything happens between you and this girl I will come and give her the sister talk._ At the rate I'm going, nothing's going to happen with her or anyone.

 **A/N- So there's the first chapter in Mason's POV. I hope you guys liked it! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Stacie

Sighing, I roll over onto my back, angry at another sleepless night. My mind just keeps going back to earlier in the parking lot. I had been lost in my own thoughts when suddenly, a car was heading toward me. Thank goodness the driver saw me. Then it was not so good when the driver turned out to be Mason Drake. It was embarrassing enough that I almost got hit by him, but then I screamed at him when he was just being nice. As if that wasn't enough, I completely forgot who he was and freaked out when he said my name. I'm sure he thought I was a complete lunatic. Hell, maybe I am or I will be if I can't get any sleep. It seems to be my new normal now. After years of sleepless nights, I had finally felt safe enough to sleep. Then, Aubrey kidnapped Beca and everything came rushing back.

I can feel my old self doing everything to come back and I'm exhausting myself trying to keep her back. I can't sleep or eat. I'm losing Beca and if I keep this up, my job. I angrily run my hand down my face and throw myself out of bed, stomping to my bathroom. Maybe a bath will help. I lower myself into the warm bath, moaning. For a while, I just lay there trying not to think. Of course that doesn't help so I hold my breath and go under the water. Before I can stop it, a memory comes flooding back.

 _7 years old_

" _You have to be prepared for attacks that could happen at any moment,"he screams and grabs my arm. "I don't care what you want. The person won't be afraid to attack you no matter where you are. One of the most unsafe places is the bathroom. It gives you a safe feeling making you vulnerable to the bad guys." He drags me to my bathroom and slams the door shut. I shake all over as he turns on the bath. He just stands there, watching me with his intense eyes as the water gets closer and closer to the top. Only when it starts to drip over the sides does he stop it. Then he shoves me in._

" _Please,"I scream but he's already talking over my small voice._

" _Lay down all the way. Now, close your eyes like you would if you were actually taking a bath. Good, now I want you to put your head under but only when I tell you too. The bad guys will come in when you're like that and surprise you. Before I teach you how to defend yourself, I'm going to demonstrate." Suddenly, he clamps his hand over my face, shoving me under the water. I thrash and claw at his arms. My lungs feel like they're on fire, ready to burst at any second. The burning intensifies, my mind going fuzzy and I stop clawing at his arm. That's when he lets me go. Gasping, I surface, painfully drawing in lungfuls of air._

I pant, bringing myself out of that memory. My chest burns like it just happened and I climb out of the bath, tears cascading down my face. I angrily wipe them away, frustrated that the memories are breaking through the barriers I had put up. Getting dressed, I go to my small built in gym and don't even bother putting on gloves before I start beating the punching bag. Rage boils to the surface, making me hit the bag harder. I don't stop even when blood covers my hands and leaves smears on the bag. It's only when my phone rings that I stop and am surprised to see that it's already 7 in the morning. I take a few deep breaths, calming down before answering.

"Hello,"my voice cracks and I cringe. So much for acting like nothings wrong. Thankfully, the person doesn't notice it.

"Is this Stacie Conrad?"A woman's high pitched voice floats through the speaker and I frown, not sure who she is.

"Yes. How may I help you?"

"My name's Isabella and I'm a huge fan of yours and was wondering if I could interview you for an article. It's not national or anything, just for my college. I just got this new job at the local newspaper and my boss said that if I could get an interview with you that I could write a article about you." I sigh, used to this. I'm notorious for not doing any TV or newspaper interviews and that makes it where people are more determined to try and get me to do it. Some kind of challenge, I guess. This girl seems different though. I've never had somebody who worked at a college newspaper ask for an interview.

"How old are you?" The girl lets out a surprise sound, obviously not expecting that question.

"I'm 19." So she goes to the college. Interesting.

"And you say that you just got this job?" She says yes and I ponder this. "Tell me, how much of a hard ass is your boss?"

"Off the record, a big one." I laugh, suddenly liking this girl.

"This is just local, correct?"

"Yes ma'am. I go to Princeton and they have this newspaper there so not many people will actually read it. I just started so it definitely won't be award worthy or anything."

"I doubt that,"I tell her, remembering how I was when I started writing books. I was terrified that I wasn't good enough or that someone would find out my past. Fortunately, my past was hidden so well that the only people who can tell you about it are those that were there. Same about the interviews. If someone from my past saw me or heard about me, they would most likely come. It's why I've never done any interviews except for a few. For this girl though, I think I can make an exception.

"Alright, I think that we can find some time to do it."

"Really?"She squeals. "You will not regret this."

"When and where?"

"Well, I'll be visiting in a few days, so Friday?" Why would she be visiting?

"That sounds great! Just let me know if you need my address. We'll just do it at my house."Joy fills me at not having to fake this enthusiasm. This girl sounds like a great person and I can't wait to meet her.

"Awesome. Thank you so much."

"No problem. Have a good day."We hang up and I smile. Before I can think about what just happened, my phone rings again. This time it's Beca.

"Hey,"I say cheerfully and I can just see the look of confusion on her face.

"What's got you all happy?"

"How about I come over and tell you all about it?" I bite my lip, not sure what'll she say since I've been distancing myself lately. I don't want to give her false hope that we'll be back to normal again, but I also still want to be her friend.

"Of course."

…..

30 minutes later, I'm at her apartment she shares with Chloe and am sitting on a stool at the counter drinking coffee. I have my winter gloves on even though it's 70 degrees outside. I'd rather her question the gloves than the bandages.

"So you're actually doing this interview?"

"Yeah, this girl reminds me of how I was when I first started writing. I didn't think I would ever be good enough and yet, here I am. All I want to do is talk to her and let her know that she can be great." Beca stares at me like I have two heads and I start to get uncomfortable.

"You're different,"is all she says before walking over the sink and washing her cup. The front door opens before I can ask what she means.

"Hey baby,"Chloe beams as she walks over to Beca, kissing her on the lips real quick before grabbing a glass. She has on a tanktop and some shorts letting me know that she was just at the gym.

"How'd it go?" Beca asks, but she's not looking at Chloe. She's looking past me and at someone in the doorway. I turn and stop myself from gasping out loud when I see Mason Drake leaning against the wall. My heart starts beating wildly and I tune out as he starts talking, too distracted by his body. He has on a plain gray t-shirt that's covered in sweat, making it stick to his skin, outlining every single muscle. Let's just say, he has some great abs. I force myself to look up at his face and I find him smirking, obviously catching me checking him out. His blue eyes sparkle with amusement and I have to resist moving a piece of his hair that had fallen in his eyes, out of the way. That's very hard since I already want to lift his shirt up and run my hands down his abs, going lower and lower until- I shake my head, putting those very naughty thoughts away and force myself to tune back into the conversation.

"So what are you doing here?"I ask Mason, my mouth suddenly very dry. He frowns as if he's confused as to why I don't know.

"Well, after he saved our lives,"Beca starts, answering for him. "Us three have became really good friends." Oh. Her words are like a punch to the gut but I keep my face emotionless.

"Yeah, we just realized how much we all have in common and I invited Mason to start running with me." Chloe throws out before taking drink of water. "Is Emily sleeping?" I'm thrown by the change in subject and I can tell that Chloe is trying to avoid telling me something. Beca's not though and I can see that same determination light up in her eyes.

"Yeah,"Beca answers then turns back to me and I can tell that I won't be happy with what she says next. "Mason is going be one of Chloe's groomsmen at the wedding by the way so you should get used to him. He'll be around a lot."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Mason

I watch as Stacie's face goes stone cold after Beca tells her that I'll be around a lot. It seems as though Beca is using me against Stacie. I don't know why though. If they're as good of friends as I've heard about, she wouldn't need to do that. Last I heard, Stacie and Beca had made up.

"Oh, um that sounds good,"Stacie mutters just loud enough for us to hear. "I actually have to go. Tell Emily I said hi."

"Fine,"Beca spats as Stacie leaves the apartment. "What the hell? What did I do to be treated like this?" Chloe rubs Beca's arms, comforting her.

"You didn't do anything. I've heard that she hasn't been in town lately. Apparently she's usually helping people around town, like everyday, but now she's nowhere to be seen. Nobody knows what's going on with her."

"Can I say something?"I speak up and they both turn toward me, nodding. "Actually it's a question. Am I your friend or just some way to get back at Stacie?"

"What? No, you're our friend. I'm sorry about that. I'm just so angry with how she's treating me. I shouldn't have used you like that."

"It's okay,"I tell her, not hurt at all. "I completely understand. So why do you think she's acting like this?"

"Well, we think she's more affected by my kidnapping than she's letting on."

"But it looks like it's more than that. Yeah she was traumatized but so were you guys and you guys aren't acting like complete jerks." I sit down where Stacie was just a few minutes ago and Beca hands me a mug of coffee. I nod thanks and look at Chloe as she starts talking.

"Beca and I went to therapy but Stacie refuses. You're right though. We think it's more than just that so I did a background check on her." Chloe leaves the room and comes back with a folder.

"Should you be showing me this?"

"Probably not but it's isn't police work so I don't see why I can't." I laugh and open the folder. There's a recent picture of Stacie but instead of purple hair like I first saw on her, she has flaming red hair. Like Chloe's but you can definitely tell it's not natural. I open my mouth to ask about that but Beca beats me to it.

"It's weird. Ever since I met her, she's always had her hair a vibrant color. I've never seen her hair normal like it is now. Also, she hasn't died it again which is definitely weird. She's always kept her hair dyed one color for a month or two and then changes it."

"When did you guys meet?" I move the folder to the side, focusing on Beca.

"When we were 14. If you look in there you'll see that it doesn't say where she moved from. She always just told me she moved around a lot." Beca pushes the folder toward me and I look through the papers, nodding when I see that she's right. My eyebrows raise when I see something that catches my eye.

"She's a foster kid?" Chloe takes a drink and sets it down before grabbing the file from the counter.

"Yeah, her foster parents were Charles and Eleanor Conrad. It says that her parents are unknown."

"What does that mean exactly?"Beca asks, moving closer to Chloe.

"It means that there is no record of Stacie before age 14. It's like she just appeared." The room is engulfed in silence as we all think about this. Stacie really isn't the person I thought she was when I first met her. An idea strikes me and I'm almost 100 percent sure that Chloe didn't think if this so I go ahead and pull my phone out.

"Did you call the foster parents?" Chloe shakes her head, eyes lighting up in shock.

"You are a genius Mason. Why are you a doctor and not a detective?" I just laugh and hand her the phone. She types in Charles phone number and puts it on speaker.

"Don't say a word,"Chloe whispers and Beca and I both nod. Chloe's the police officer here not us.

"Hello,"a man's deep, gravelly voice answers.

"Hi, this is Chloe Beale. I'm the chief of police for Barden. Are you Charles Conrad?"

"Yeah. Why do you want to know?" Wow, this guy is rude.

"Well, I have a few questions about Stacie Conrad, a girl you fostered." The man's sudden tension can practically be felt through the phone.

"Yeah, what about her?"

"When did she come to be in your care?"

"She was about 14 and a half. Feisty little thing."

"Okay. When did she leave your care and how close were you two?" I frown, confused about why Chloe is asking these questions. It must be for a reason though.

"She left the moment she turned 18 and we weren't very close. My wife was though. She loves children."The man says with a very monotone voice and I can tell that Chloe's noticed it too. "Are we almost done here? I have things I need to get back too."

"Sorry sir. Just one more question."Chloe pauses waiting to see if he'll object and when he doesn't, she speaks. "Have you had any contact with her since she left?" There's a pregnant pause before Charles speaks again.

"No."At that, he hangs up.

"What does all that mean?"Beca asks, clearly having as much of a hard time keeping up as me.

"Well, if she really had been close to Eleanor, they would have had some contact."

"What if Eleanor did and he just never saw Stacie?"I ask and Chloe taps the counter with her finger, thinking.

"I looked at their files too. Both of them are retired and pretty much stay at home all day. So if Stacie did go to see Eleanor, there's not that big of a chance that he wouldn't see her. I also find it weird that he answered the questions like that. Almost rehearsed and like it was all he could say."

"Who would do that? Make him watch what he says, I mean." Chloe meets my eyes and I can see the curiosity and confusion in her gaze.

"I don't know,"Chloe mutters, looking down at the photo of Stacie. "I don't know."

 **Charles**

 **I slam the phone down, causing Eleanor run into the room.**

" **What is is?"I look over at her.**

" **The chief of police just called."**

" **Chloe Beale? What did she want?" Eleanor grabs my hands, exposing how much they're trembling.**

" **She wanted to ask questions about Stacie." Eleanor gasps and picks up the phone.**

" **You have to call her. Now!" My hands shake as I type in her number. "She told you to call anytime somebody was asking about her."**

" **I thought it only applied until she turned 18."**

" **It did, Charles but if she finds out somebody was asking questions and we didn't call her… I don't even want to know what she would do." I nod as the phone rings until she picks up.**

" **Hello,"her voice is harsh and cold. Even more so than it was all those years ago.**

" **This is Charles Conrad. You told me to call if anybody started asking questions about Stacie."**

" **That was years ago."**

" **I know but I thought you should know that it was the chief of police who called just a few minutes ago."**

" **Oh,"she pauses and I straighten my shoulders trying to relieve some of the tension. "Well, now that changes things."**

" **What do you mean?" I look over at Eleanor, horrified.**

" **It means, I'll be coming." She hangs up and I slowly put the phone down.**

" **She's coming,"I tell Eleanor and we both stand there for a while trying to figure out what exactly that means for us.**

" **It'll be fine." Eleanor smiles grimly and grabs my hands with hers. "We did what we were supposed to. That's what she asked us to do so we'll be fine." Seconds after she says that, the front door slams open and a man in all black storms in.**

" **Hey,"I scream and he points a gun at me, shooting me in the chest several times before turning to Eleanor and shooting her directly in the head. We fall, our hands still clasped. A tear falls out of the corner of my eye as the world fades away around me. The man steps over me and points his gun directly at my head.**

" **Amelia sends her regards,"he sneers before pulling the trigger and everything goes away, leaving nothing.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Stacie

My fist pulls back, striking the bag with as much force as I can muster. It swings back and then toward me, allowing me to hit again. And again. Over and over until my knuckles are numb and shredded. I heave, trying as best as I can to catch my breath. I can't believe Beca said that. It's like she purposely went out of her way to hurt me. Maybe I deserve it though. I'm not a good person. All I do is lie to her just like my bastard of a father did. I hit the bag again, halfheartedly. Memories of him usually make me angry but now they just exhaust me. For so long, I've been angry at him. I mean he pushed me until I was ready to pass out and sometimes I did. Yes, he taught me to be tough, but he almost killed me doing it.

 _9 years old_

" _You hit like a girl,"he taunts, swaying on his feet with his hands out in a fight position. "Do you want people to push you around? To be able to hurt you?" He lunges, striking me in the face. There's a snap and blood spurts out of my nose telling me that it's broken. Again. My eyes tear up from the pain and in anger, I jump at him. He easily dodges me and shoves me to the ground. Before I can recover, he kicks my stomach over and over until I'm vomiting. He stops, allowing me to recover._

" _Dad.."I say weakly, but I know it's no good. It's really bad since I spoke to him and even worse, I called him dad. He mutters under his breath, face calm. That's his facade though. Calm. Underneath that mask though, he's steaming. The rage threatening to boil over. It doesn't though. Never does. Someday it will and when that happens, he may not stop beating me until I don't move. Until I don't wake up. I should be scared of that happening but deep down, I secretly wish it would. That he would just get it over with._

" _Get up,"he growls, yanking my arm, jerking me until I'm standing before him. "You can't let them get you down. They get you down and it's all over with. You're screwed. Now, again." Forcing my aching body forward, I lunge at him but he catches my wrist, twisting it until there's a snap. I scream and he grabs my face, squeezing my jaw shut._

" _Pain is just a state of mind,"he thunders, squeezing tighter with each minute. "You push the pain away. Don't let it control you. You can't show your enemy's any weakness._

" _Does that..mean you're my..enemy?"I manage to get out, causing my jaw to hurt even worse. He sneers and leans forward._

" _Everybody is an enemy no matter how well you think you know them. Nobody is who they say they are, even me." He lets go of my jaw and shoves me back, causing me to stumble but I remain upright. "Now, remember pain is only a state of mind." With that, he grabs my broken wrist and yanks me toward him, slamming his foot into my kneecap, causing another snap. I scream, falling to the ground and he growls, not satisfied with my reaction. His hand is suddenly on my leg, wrapping his long, thick fingers around my knee as he slowly tightens his grip. My body screams at me and I shake from the pure agony, but I don't make a sound. Instead, I bite my lip so hard I draw blood. He continues to squeeze my leg until finally, after what seems like hours, he stops. Grinning, he stands up and walks to the doorway, pausing for a second before speaking._

" _We start again tomorrow,"he calls out over his shoulder before walking out. I'm left alone, my whole body convulsing from the pain. I don't focus on the physical pain though. I focus on the pain of being alone and knowing that I always have been._

Shaking, I touch the right side of my lip, feeling the small dent in it. After that day, that became my way of pushing the pain back. Years of doing that caused a permanent reminder of the person I hated the most. Well, him and my mother. I shake my head, not wanting to even think about her. I sulk into my upstairs bathroom and clean up my hands. I wrap them and instantly go to my bed. Curling up on it, I close my eyes, hoping to sleep, for once. I don't.

…

A few days pass and I'm still in the same spot. The only times I've gotten up were to use the bathroom and the occasional sandwich. I've done everything to prevent myself from becoming this way and I'm sick with how exhausted it makes me. I try so hard to stop myself from becoming my old self and for what? A lifetime of loneliness and fear.

My phone suddenly goes off and I reluctantly reach over to grab it. Isabella. After she called me, I made sure to save her number so I wouldn't panic upon seeing an unknown number.

 **Are we still on for tomorrow?** The interview had completely slipped my mind. I debate canceling it but in the end, don't. I have no interest, whatsoever, into going back to my pity party.

 **Of course. What time?**

 **Around noon. I'll have my brother take me so he'll be there with us if that's okay.** My mind briefly wonders about who her brother is, but I push it down. I don't need to be all nosy.

 **Yeah. Do I know him?** Dammit, Stacie. That's still nosy.

 **Maybe, though if you do, I think he would have mentioned you.** I laugh, knowing that there's a chance I have met him, though, he probably hates me. I'm not the nicest person, especially lately.

 **I doubt it.**

I turn my phone off and head to the shower, itching to get rid of the dirty feeling I have. My head hangs in shame at how all I've done is sulk around and wallow in self pity. I acted too much like how I used to be. Scared and depressed, ready for it to all be over. I told myself that I would be more. Someone that people looked up to and got inspired. Instead, these last few days-hell, these last few months- I've been a bitch. To everybody and none of them deserved it. I let my anger and fear get the best of me and I can't let that happen again.

I take a quick shower before cleaning my house. Beca is always asking why I don't just get a house cleaner. I certainly have enough money. What she doesn't understand is that I need my privacy. If I had someone clean for me, there's always the chance that they'll learn about my past. Even worse, that they'll get hurt because, I'm not a safe person to be around. The only reason I let Beca in is because I need someone. These past few months though, I've pushed her away and I'm not sure how to let her back in. I'm not sure I ever did in the first place because how can you let someone in if you don't know how.

…..

The next day, I anxiously clean, not sure about how this will go. It's been years since I've done an interview and those were only for Barden's daily paper. This is for Princeton. Fucking Princeton. Oh, what have I done? What if somebody from my past reads it? They could come and hurt me, Beca, and even Isabella. A knock at my door jerks me out of my thoughts and I shakely open it. A girl with pitch black hair and very fair skin stands before me. I narrow my eyes, finding it weird that she seems very familiar. It suddenly hits me when I see who's standing beside her. Mason. So that's her brother. The resemblance is actually pretty scary. If they weren't obviously several years apart in age, they could be mistaken for twins.

"Hi,"Isabella practically squeals completely unaware of the tension growing between Mason and I. I don't like the way he's looking at me. Like he knows I'm hiding something. He can't know about my past, can he? My mother did everything she could to cover me up and I let her because of what I did. Nobody can know what I did or they would all hate me. Not to mention they would be in danger because of who my father was. I shake those thoughts away and focus on Isabella.

"Hi, it's nice you meet you, Isabella."

"Oh, call me Izzy,"she cheerfully says, holding out her hand. I raise mine and shake hers without thinking. I stop when I realize that both her and Mason are staring at my bandaged hand. I quickly snatch my hand away and gesture for them to come in.

"Come in. Make yourself at home." They both smile but I can tell that only Izzy's is real. "Just head into the living room and I can get us some drinks." I shut the door as they go into the living room, and take a deep breath before following them. This is going to be interesting.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Mason

"Izzy,"I call out cheerfully as she runs and jumps into my arms.

"It's been so long,"she cries even though it's only been a few months. I don't correct her though because she's right. It feels like it's been forever.

"Ready to head over to the house?"I ask, loading her bags in the car.

"Nope, I have something else I have to do." Shocked, I turn around, wondering what could be more important than seeing mom and dad.

"What do you need to do?"

"I have an interview with someone and I was hoping you could take me."

"What about mom and dad?" She smiles and I sigh, knowing that she already thought about that.

"I let them know that I have to do something for the paper and that I'll be there as soon as I can. I also told them that my very sweet brother would take me." Sighing, I gesture for her to get in the car and she squeals. I start the car and have her give me directions as we go.

"So when is Ethan getting here?"Izzy asks.

"I have no idea. He's a little busy traveling the world but I'm hoping that he'll find time to come see us." Ethan is the difficult one. He may be my twin but we are complete opposites. All of us have the same dark hair but Ethan always has highlights of some sort. He also loves to keep his hair long, on his head and on his face. He's also the wild child. Getting into trouble and doing stupid things.

"Hmm. Hopefully."Out of the corner of my eye, I see Izzy's face fall but it quickly changes like it never happened. "Ooh, here we are." My heart falls as I focus on the house.

"You didn't tell me that you're interviewing Stacie Conrad,"I complain and Izzy frowns, turning toward me as I pull up to the curb.

"Why does it matter?"

"You remember me telling you about Beca and Chloe?"Izzy nods. "Well, Stacie is the woman who saved both of them. She's their friend, I think." From what I gathered, not a good one.

"Well, that's good right? She's not the stuck up person everybody thinks she is."

"I wouldn't say that,"Izzy's face falls again and I sigh, hating that I'm ruining the picture of her idol that she had in her head. "She's not a good friend and actually screamed at me when I tried being polite. Also, her past is very questionable."

"How so?"

"Nothing. We can talk about this later. Let's just get this over with." I start to get out but Izzy places her hand on my arm, stopping me.

"You don't have to come in." Now it's my turn to frown. I can't leave Izzy with someone I don't trust.

"No, it's okay." Izzy nods and we get out, going up to the front door. Izzy knocks and a few moments later, the door opens revealing Stacie who looks stunning. She's wearing a yellow sundress and her hair is cascading down her back in beautiful waves. I can't help but notice the bags under her eyes are worse than they were just the other day when I saw her at Beca's. Izzy says hi and Stacie smiles gently saying hi back. I can't focus on the conversation because she's...distracting to say the least. Shaking my head a little, I come back to reality and just in time. They go to shake hands but both Izzy and I stop to stare at the bandages on her hands. I can spot little droplets of blood bleeding through and suddenly, Stacie's hand is gone. She lets us inside and Izzy and I sit on the couch in the living room. My mind is still on the bandages. What did she do? I have friends that do boxing and I've done my fair share in the past so I know what is looks like. The way she wrapped her hands is exactly how I would've done it if I had been punching a bag hard enough to hurt myself. Why would she do that though?

"Okay, shall we get started,"Stacie says, coming in and sitting on a chair across from us. I notice how her hands shake a little before she clenches them together.

"Okay. So my first question is, what inspired you to write?" Stacie thinks for a minute before answering.

"Well, when I was younger, writing was my escape. I loved how I could just start with writing one sentence and next thing I knew, I've written a whole page." Izzy nods and writes that down. I smile to myself at the look of happiness in Izzy's eyes. Not only is she getting to do an interview, but she's doing it with her idol. She's always loved Stacie's books and has tried to get me to read some of them. From what I've heard, they're pretty steamy and definitely not something I would like. Izzy's always telling me that they're more than that, but I can't imagine how.

"Okay, do you mind if I ask you what you're parents think of it?" Stacie pales a little but shakes her head.

"They..um..they're not around,"is all she says and Izzy gasps a little.

"I'm so sorry. What happened?" I subtly jab Izzy with my elbow, trying to signal for her to stop. She looks at me like what but I just gesture toward Stacie. Can't Izzy see how close she is to breaking down?

"It's okay,"Stacie assures, obviously seeing our silent conversation. "My dad was murdered and my mother….we don't talk." Oh. The room goes silent for a few minutes, all us thinking about that. So that's why she went to the foster parents. It still doesn't explain why she just suddenly appeared at 14. Or why her mother would just give her up like that.

"Do you know who did it?"I ask, earning a glare from Izzy. This is her interview but I can't help it.

"Yes,"Stacie says, pain obvious in her eyes. I want to ask more questions but I can tell that Stacie is close to shutting down. I guess that Izzy also sees that because she changes the subject back to Stacie's books.

"Did you ever think that you're books would be this famous?" Stacie smiles.

"No, I had no idea. I never thought that I would ever have the guts to share them with an agent until an old friend of mine pushed me to do it."

"How exactly did they do that?" Stacie's eyes glaze over like she's somewhere else.

"He told me that I had talent that needed to be shared. That I could actually be somebody even if I didn't think so. A few days later, I did it."

"How did that go?"

"They rejected it." Both Izzy and I jerk, startled. With how famous her books are, I can't imagine that somebody would do that.

"Why?"

"They said,"Stacie laughs before continuing. "They said that it was good but that I wouldn't be able to handle it. That I was too young and immature. I mean, have you read my books?" We all laugh now and I can see that Stacie is actually enjoying this. I'm surprised to realize that I'm enjoying this too.

"So what did you do after that?"

"Well, at the time, I was devastated, but Ben told me that I couldn't give up. It was just one person and that there were plenty others who will like my book. So, I showed it to many others until finally, one stuck."

"Sounds like this Ben was a pretty awesome guy,"Izzy comments and Stacie smiles dreamly.

"Yeah, he was." I hide my shock at the word was. Does that mean… She already lost her dad. I can't imagine. There's also another feeling that I don't like. Jealousy. Did she like this guy as more than a friend? Were they more than friends? Why do I even care?

"I'm sorry,"Izzy says and Stacie tells her its okay but I can see the way she's clenching her bandages fists. She's angry. What has this girl been through and what effect did it have on her? Stacie and Izzy continue to converse until after about an hour, they're finished.

"Thank you so much,"Izzy gushes and hugs Stacie.

"No, thank you. This was fun. We can do it again sometime if you would like."

"Really? That would be awesome." Izzy bounces on her feet and practically hops out the door.

"I'll meet you in the car,"I tell her and she frowns before walking over to the car and getting in. I turn to Stacie who's watching me.

"Why?" Is all I say and Stacie frowns, confused. It takes all of me not to lean over and kiss her forehead. To kiss all the stress lines away and replace them with laugh lines.

"Why what?"

"You don't ever do interviews but you did for my sister. Why?"

"I like her,"Stacie says and puts her hand on the door, signaling that the conversation is over. "She reminds me of me when I was younger. I just want to help her be somebody, though whether she realizes or not, she already is." Stacie shuts the door, leaving me standing on her porch stunned. Who is this girl?


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Stacie

A few days later, Izzy sends me the draft for the newspaper article. I take a deep breath, surprised at how nervous I am to read it. I revealed more about my past than I had planned, but something about Mason and Izzy made me feel safe. Like I could tell them everything and they would be okay. Even if I told them what I did, they might not hate me. I can't though because that would be crossing the line and putting them in danger. Not to mention, showing them who I really am. Pushing those thoughts away, I start to read the paper.

 _ **Into the life of Stacie Conrad- part 1**_

 **Who is Stacie Conrad? That's the big question that everybody wants to know.**

 **I got the chance to interview the famous book writer and honestly, I was surprised at what I learned. She's nothing like I thought; she's better.**

 **One of the first questions I asked her was why she writes. She immediately had an answer for me.**

" _ **When I was younger, writing was my escape. I loved how I could just start with writing one sentence and next thing I knew, I've written a whole page."**_ **Stacie told me and I could see in her eyes and her writing, how true that really is. She also let me in that someone very special allowed her to see how talented she really is.**

 _ **"He told me that I had talent that needed to be shared. That I could actually be somebody even if I didn't think so."**_ **Someone needs to thank that guy because without him, we wouldn't have those amazing books. Speaking of those books, I talked to Stacie about her latest book and all she would tell me about it is that it might be the best one yet. I don't know about you, but I can't wait.**

 **I talked to Stacie and she has agreed to allow me to continue doing articles on her. Each one, I will have a question about her and she has to answer it no matter what it is. I asked her a easy, fun one to start out. What was your most embarrassing moment?**

" _ **Well, that's hard to answer,"Stacie told me. "I have many but one of the most embarrassing was when I was 16. I went with my best friend to this guy's party totally expecting to hook up with him. My best friend kept telling me that he wasn't into me but I just completely ignored her. We arrived at the party and I got really drunk. Then, I went looking for the guy only to run into these two guys making out. One of the guys was the one I wanted to hook up with. Instead of accepting the fact that the guy I liked was gay, I grabbed him and started to make out with him. He pushed me away and I started to scream random nonsense at him. Seriously, none of it made sense. As if that wasn't bad enough, I threw up all over him. He was covered head to toe in my vomit. My friend dragged me away while I was still screaming nonsense at him."**_

 **It's good to know that we're all, in the end, the same. This was first look into Stacie Conrad's life and it definitely won't be the last.**

By the time I'm finished reading, my whole body is shaking with laughter. Izzy did a really good job. I text her that and go into my office to work on my book. I haven't done anymore with it but after reading this article, I'm motivated to get to work. Everytime I go to work on it, all I can think about is Mason. He plaques my mind and I can't seem to shake him. Part of me wants to give him a chance. To try to be with someone again. The other part-the bigger part- screams at me to stay away because that would be better for everyone. My phone goes off and I'm surprised to see it's Beca calling me.

"Hey, what's up?" I slowly ask, not sure where we stand.

"Hey, I was just wondering if you want to come over later?"I frown at the tone of her voice. There's an edge to it like something's wrong.

"I can come now."

"Perfect. Bye." Beca hangs up, leaving me really confused. I quickly bandage my hand and head over to her apartment. I knock on the door and it instantly opens. Chloe just nods and gestures for me to come in. I do and walk into the living room where Beca is sitting on the couch.

"Where's Emily?"I frown because Beca hates being away from Emily.

"My parents are watching her,"Beca dismisses and points to the chair across from her. "Sit. We need to have a talk." Starting to get worried, I do what she says. Chloe sits next to her on the couch, both acting weird.

"What's going on?" Chloe and Beca share a look before talking.

"I've been worried about you,"Beca whispers, staring at her hands. "We had a hunch that you weren't just affected by Aubrey and Jesse. That there was something else wrong so Chloe looked into your file."

"What?"I shoot up out of the chair, my hands fisting at my sides. "Why would you do that?" Chloe stands up, holding her hands out trying to calm me down.

"Look, we're just worried about you. Beca was just trying to be a good friend."

"And what about you? Were you just being a nosy cop? Did you want to try and up your reputation by taking down some other big scandal?" Beca screams at me to be quiet but I'm not finished yet. "What did you find? That I'm a serial killer. No wait, a terrorist."

"Stacie…"Beca starts, but falters and glances toward a folder on the coffee table. I snatch it up before they can stop me. My picture is in it along with a whole bunch of other information.

"Why did you bring me here if you have all the answers that you need?"I throw the folder down, clenching my fists again.

"Because we don't have all the answers,"Chloe straightens and I notice her stance changing, now in cop mode. "There's nothing about you before age 14. Before you moved to Barden. Then, there's the fact that your supposed foster parents don't seem to actually know you. It like they even never took care of you." Suddenly, I'm not in the apartment, but back to the first time I met the Conrad's.

 **14 years old**

 **Slowly, I approach the old house, not sure that this was a good idea. Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door. It swings open to reveal a short, heavyset man and a woman who's at least a foot taller, smiling down at me.**

" **You must be Stacie,"the woman beams, stepping forward and enveloping me in a hug. I stiffin, not used to being touch like this.**

" **We've heard all about you and are excited to get to know you,"the man says and hands me a piece of paper. I scan it and tears form but I push them away. Crying is for the weak. It tells me their names and my new one. Stacie Conrad.**

" **Come inside,"Mrs. Conrad smiles and I just nod and follow her inside. No sense in pretending to be happy being here when I won't be here much longer. Just because I agreed to my parents conditions doesn't mean I'll actually follow them.**

"Stacie!"Beca yells, waving her hand in my face. "Earth to Stacie."

"What?"I yell back, not happy with the memory. I had those buried but Beca and Chloe had to go digging, surfacing them. How much do they know?

"Explain please. I need to know that you're who I think you are. I can't stand the thought that you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth." Sighing, I drop into the chair, defeated.

"Why do you care?" Beca grabs my hand and starts playing with the edge of the bandage.

"Because you're my best friend, Stace and I love you. So please, let me in."

"I'm sorry,"I shake my head and stand up, brushing Beca away. "I can't do that." Beca stiffins and her face goes stone cold.

"I have been friends with you for almost 13 years and still, you have never let me in. You know everything about me but I somehow don't know a damn thing about you."

"Of course you do."

"Favorite color doesn't count Stacie! I don't know anything about where you come from, what happened to your parents, or why you keep fucking pushing me away. Who the hell are you?" My chest heaves in anger and I have to work to keep the tears away. Chloe has her hand rested on her gun holster, ready to pull it out at anytime. My heart breaks as I realize that this is it. The moment that I've been dreading. The moment I lose Beca.

"I really am sorry,"I whisper, turning toward the door. My hand is on the doorknob and about to turn it, when Chloe stops me.

"At least explain why Charles and Eleanor Conrad were found murdered in their home a few days ago." My blood goes cold and I slowly turn toward Beca and Chloe.

"What?"I croak.

"They were both shot." I start shaking, leaning against the door for support. "Do you know who did it?"

"Why would I?"I snap, not being able to help it. Chloe scowls.

"If you don't cooperate, I'll have to take you in for questioning." I stand up straight.

"Do you think I did it?"

"Should I?"Chloe steps forward and I instinctively backup, hitting the door. "Give me a reason to eliminate you as a suspect."

"I can't,"I shake my head and turn around, opening the door.

"You'll have to come in for questioning,"Chloe yells and I grind my teeth to stop myself from punching something.

"You know where to find me,"I snap before leaving the apartment, slamming the door behind me. The moment I get to my car, I collapse to my knees. Tears stream down my face and I curse myself for being weak. If Charles and Eleanor are dead than that means that she knows that Chloe is looking into me. And if she knows that Chloe's digging into my past, she's coming and the moment she arrives, all hell is going to break loose.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Mason

"Izzy, this is great,"I congratulate my sister on her article and I mean it. She was able to show that Stacie isn't the stuck up person everybody thinks she is. Hell, I thought that and would still think that if I hadn't been there when Izzy interviewed her. I was able to see that she truly meant what she said, especially what she told me about my sister.

"Thank you! My boss says I have a real talent in the journalist business." I smile at the pure joy on her face.

"You do,"I hug Izzy, making her squeal. "Is this what you want to do as a career?" She shrugs and opens her mouth to answer when our parents enter the kitchen.

"There you kids are!"My mom kisses me and Izzy on the cheek before grabbing her cookbook. "So any idea on when Ethan will be here?" I sigh, not wanting to break my mother's heart. She's expecting Ethan to be here when we all know that he probably won't.

"How about now?"A voice comes from the doorway. My eyes widen as I take my brother in. His usual unruly hair is cut short and bleach blond. What surprises me the most is that for once, he shaved.

"Ethan,"my dad booms, going over and hugging him. Ethan turns to me and smiles.

"What? No love for your brother?" Shaking my head, I go over and hug him. "It's been too long."

"I know,"I tell him, trying not to let my anger show. It's been almost a year since we've seen him. Someone clears their throat and I shift my gaze to the brunette in the doorway.

"Who are you?"Izzy blurts out what we're all thinking. Ethan beams and puts his arm around the girl.

"This is Jessica. My fiance." Everybody goes silent as we take this in. My mom is the first to speak.

"Are you serious?" Ethan nods and my mom skips over to Jessica, hugging her. "It's great to finally meet you." Finally meet her? When did Ethan tell her about Jessica and why didn't I know?

"It's nice to meet you too." Jessica smiles and I'm taken aback by how nice she is. And the fact that she's not Ethan's usual type at all. He usually goes for the tall blondes, not short brunettes. Jessica turns to me and holds out her hand.

"You must be Mason. It's still crazy how much you two look alike. I mean, I've seen pictures but it's still crazy seeing it in person." I take her hand, giving Ethan a confused look. He gestures toward the hallway and we both leave the kitchen.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?"I don't bother hiding the hurt in my voice. Ethan's my brother, my twin. He should feel comfortable will telling me this stuff.

"I'm sorry. It's just, you never call me and when I do call you, it seems like you don't want to talk."

"That's only because you never come to visit." Ethan nods, considering this. He really is different.

"I know and I'm sorry. I've just felt so lost for a long time so I traveled trying to find myself. To figure my life out. It never occured to me how much it affected you guys too."

"Wow. Who are you and what did you do to my brother?"We laugh and he runs a hand through his hair, which still shocks me everytime I look at it. "So when did you and Jessica meet?"

"We met almost a year ago at a book conference."

"What were you doing at a book conference?"

"What? Is it that surprising that I read?" I nod and he laughs. "I used to go to book conferences to pick up girls."

"How does that work?"I ask.

"Memorize lines from the hottest book of the year or shakespeare and start a very deep conversation about it. Ladies apparently like a man that knows his stuff." We laugh and I ask him more about Jessica. "I went through, looking for my usual type when I spotted Jessica. Well, more like her friend Ashley who was my type. I started putting on my moves when I learned that Ashley was married. She left to find her husband so Jessica and I started talking when I realized that I actually liked her. The rest is history."

"So you really want to marry her?"Ethan nods and I clap him on the shoulder. "Good for you."

"What about you, Mase? Anybody special in that very busy life of yours?" My mind wanders to Stacie and once I start thinking about her, I can't stop. She's unlike any other girl I've ever met. She's mysterious and beautiful. I can't figure out if she really is a jerk or a kind person because I've seen both.

"I'm guessing that's a yes,"Ethan laughs, jerking me out of my thoughts. "Who is she?"

"Nobody you would know. Anyway, there's nothing going on between us. She won't even talk to me and I'm not sure she's a good person."

"What do you mean?" I open my mouth to answer when Izzy comes flying around the corner and throwing her arms around Ethan.

"Thank you so much for bringing her!"Izzy cries.

"Umm, you're welcome?" Ethan sends a questioning look to Jessica who smiles and holds up a book.

"We're both fans of Stacie Conrad's books." I laugh nervously, weirded out by the fact that I was just thinking about her. Why does she keep popping up in my life like this?

"Isn't she the one whose books have sex all in them?"My mom yells from the kitchen.

"Ew, why do you even know that?"I yell back and duck my head when she comes around the corner, swinging a spatula at me. She puts her hands on her hips and scowls at me, trying to be mad but I can see the gleam in her eyes.

"What? I read and her books are pretty good."

"Right?"Izzy gushes and goes over to her bag, grabbing a piece of paper out of it before standing by Jessica. "I actually got to meet her and do an interview. She let me write an article about her!" Jessica's jaw drops and she squeals. My mom, surprisingly, does too.

"How? She's done like one interview before. I've been to every single book conference that's hosted her books trying to meet her, but she's never shown up."

"She lives in town and for some reason let me. I still don't know why but she's actually letting me do it again sometime. I'm thinking of heading over there later to do it, but she hasn't answered my text back."

"You text her?"Jessica's eyes widen so much that I'm afraid she's going to pull a muscle or something. "That's awesome. Do you think I could meet her and maybe get her autograph?" Izzy nods and pulls out her phone which coincidentally starts ringing.

"It's her,"Izzy whispers and clicks the speaker button, signaling for us all to be quiet. "Hey!"

"Hi, I just saw your text."

"Yeah. So what do you think?" There's a few seconds of silence until Stacie finally answers. Jessica looks like she's going to pass out and my mom is bouncing up and down.

"I think that will work. What time are you thinking?"

"As soon as possible. Actually, could I bring a few fans? My brother's fiance and mother are huge fans and would love to meet you?" My mom's face lights up at being included.

"That will be completely fine. You can head on over now if you want?"

"Okay, cool. See you soon,"Izzy hangs up and rushes to grab her purse. She grabs Jessica's hand-who looks like she's going to pass out-and drags her to the door. I follow them, my mom not too far behind. Soon, we're all packed in my truck like a can of sardines and headed to Stacie's house. All of the girls are sitting in the back, gushing over the books while I drive and Ethan watches them with a smile.

"Have you ever read one of her books?"Ethan asks me and I shake my head. "I have and I got to tell you, they're not bad."

"You read her books?"

"Jessica pressured me into reading one and it turns out, Stacie Conrad is actually really good. Yes, there are a lot of sex scenes, but they all mean so much more. My favorite couple is Jack and Mariana." I groan as Ethan starts chatting with the girls about the book. I have never wanted to hear my mother talk about sex much less my sister, but lucky for me, I got to hear a whole bunch of it come from them. We pull up to the house and all pile out of the car. The girls practically run up to the door while I just stay back a few feet before joining them on the porch. This should be interesting.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Stacie

When I finally saw Izzy's text, I had been staring out the window debating on running or not. It'll be more dangerous for me to stay but at the same time, I've made a life here for myself. Not a great one, but it is one. I have promises to keep and maybe...a possible future with Mason. No, that couldn't happen I can't ever bring him into the mess that is my life. Or his sister for that matter. That's why, when I saw her text, I called and agreed to let her come for one last interview, even if she doesn't know it yet.

I hear a car pull up outside, jerking me out of my thoughts. My heart beats fast as I watch all of them pile out of the car. Goodness, how many are there? My heart skips a beat when I spot Mason and even from here, I can see the hesitation on his face. I don't blame him. Beca and Chloe must've told him about what they found on me. They don't understand it and there's no way I can help them understand without them hating me. Shaking my head, I check to make sure that I'm decently dressed before walking to the front door.

Someone knocks and I take a deep breath before opening the door. Izzy is in the front and instantly goes for a hug.

"Hey,"I say, cheerfully, trying to hide the guilt. "Why don't y'all come on in. The kitchen is that way." One by one, they pass me until it's just Mason and I. He doesn't keep walking though. Instead, he stops and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you for doing this,"his kind, soft blue eyes stare into mine which have harden and become cold over the years. Thanks to my parents, I've seen and done too many bad things. We just stand there and stare into each other's eyes for a few minutes before I just shrug and gesture at him to follow me into the kitchen. I had put out some snacks and drinks for everybody before going back to my window watching until they got here. They all look up when I walk in and then at Mason, who enters a second later. I'm sure they're wondering why it took us both so long. I don't care about that though. I care about having some fun while I can until I have to figure out what to do.

"Hello everybody. If you didn't already know, I'm Stacie Conrad." They all nod and I can practically see the excitement coming off of them.

"Trust me, we knew,"Mason chuckles and I just smile at him. Maybe a second too long though because somebody clears their throat, making me jump a little. My eyes drift over everybody, taking it all in and assessing each of them. My dad always taught me to analyze a situation, see how dangerous it, or they, could be. He rammed it into me so hard that it took years to stop doing it every time I went somewhere. All it did was remind of everything that bastard put me through. He's been on my mind lately, so I can't help but do it.

My gaze finally land on a Mason look alike. They have different hair color but I'm assuming that's because Mason's brother dyed it. Their eyes are almost the same. Ethan's eyes aren't as blue, being more of a green than anything. I shake my head slightly to get the picture of Mason's blue eyes out of my head and continue to take everybody in. It startles me how beautiful everybody is in here. I must look dull compared to them.

"I'm Ethan,"Mason's look alike announces, startling me out of my thoughts. "This is Jessica, my fiance and my mom, Laura. My dad would be here too if he didn't need to keep an eye on the food and hopefully, not burn the house down." They all laugh but I just smile. I see Mason's forehead crease a little, like he's confused about something and it's so adorable.

"It's nice to meet all y'all. So how many of you are fans?" Izzy of course raises her hand along with Jessica, Laura, and surprisingly Ethan. Nodding, I exit the kitchen, telling them I'll be back in just a second. I go into my office, surprised when someone knocks on the door. Mason is leaning against the doorframe, watching me with a look I can't describe.

"Are you okay? You seem bothered by something." Oh, if only he knew.

"I'm fine, just stress. Being an adult sucks. I can't even imagine what it's like for you though." Mason takes a step inside, studying the office.

"What do you mean?" His inquisitive eyes meet mine. Nervously, I pick up a book, flipping through it but not actually reading.

"Well, you're a doctor and that by itself is probably really stressful." Mason takes another step toward me, nodding his head.

"Yeah. So?" He's only a few feet in front of me now and I'm afraid that he can hear my heartbeat which is pounding hard and fast.

"Why do something so stressful?" Mason's head cocks to the side a little, making me giggle quietly.

"Because at the end of the day, I know that I saved at least someone's life. Now it's my turn to ask a question." I just gulp and nod. "You always focus on other people's problems and brush away yours. Why?" My eyes go moist and one forbidden tear leaks out. Mason raises his hand and slowly brushes it away with his thumb. He lays his hand against my cheek and I lean into it, closing my eyes. The warmth and safe feeling makes me want to stay there forever.

"If I focus on my problems, even for a second, I'll drown. I've been there before but I'm afraid that the next time I start to sink, I won't be able to find my way back to the surface."

Mason starts, leaning in close, his lips brushing my ear as he speaks. "Maybe you just need someone to guide you there." Opening my eyes, I meet his which instantly flicker down, staring at my lips. We both lean in, so close that I can feel his warm breath softly hitting my face.

"Are you guys coming back?"Ethan yells from the kitchen, causing us to jump away from each other. Mason silently curses before yelling back.

"Yeah, just give us a second."I giggle and soon we're both laughing at almost being caught. Granted we weren't doing anything, but we were pretty damn close to doing something. I just wish we had time to figure out what.

"So why did you come in here in the first place?"Mason leans against the desk and I gesture to the bookcase beside him.

"I'm going to find out their favorite book of mine and sign it for them." Mason's eyebrows narrow as he thinks. I wonder about what.

"Give me a second,"Mason says before striding out of the room. Less than a minute later, he comes back in, a determined look on his face.

"Let's see if I get this right. For Ethan, his favorite book is the one with Jack and Mariana in it." Nodding, I lean over and grab my book, Climbing High. I hand it too him and gesture for him to continue.

"The next one is for Jessica. Her favorite is the one with Damien and Raine." Nodding my head in approval, I grab Flying High, which is the prequel to Climbing High. So far, it's just the High series which doesn't surprise me. It's the most popular out of all of them.

"My mom's is Jordan and Henry." I laugh and grab Runner's High. "Why are you laughing?"

"That's one of my more...explicit books." Mason's eyes widen and he just stares at the book cover which features a couple kissing heatedly on a track. "Next one."

"Okay,"Mason shakes his head and frowns in concentration. "Izzy's is..Persephone and Hades?" I jolt in shock and Mason asks me what's wrong.

"Well, when I was younger, I had a fascination with Greek Mythology. Especially with Hades and Persephone. Their love always interested me." Turning, I search for the book. "I loved that even though Hades abducted Persephone because of his hate for Zeus, she still found a way to love him."

"I'm pretty sure that's called Stockholm Syndrome,"I comment, earning a light slap on the arm.

"It's so much more than that though. Persephone sees the real him, despite everything he does. She understands that he was raised up believing he was the bad one. That just because he rules the dead, he's a horrible person when really, he had no choice. Even through all of that, she sees who he really is. A person who never had a choice or hope. She gives him that though. She shows him that he's not a bad person and that he can be something more than what everybody expects him to be." I look down at the book, sadness threatening to take over. It's crazy how similar we are. I never had a choice or at least that's what I like to think. What I know for sure though, is that all of my hope is gone and has been for a long time.

"Hey,"Mason whispers, placing his fingers under my chin and lifting my face to meet his. "Why so sad?"

"Because it's just a story and stories have happy endings. Real life doesn't."

"Who says?" A look of determination fills Mason's eyes and I lose myself in them for a second, savoring what time I have with him before I make the decision that will change my life.

"Experience,"I whisper and Mason jerks back, surprised. Shaking my head, I hand the book to him and watch as he reads the name. Raising Hell.

"Do you have another copy?"Mason suddenly asks, surprising me. I nod and grab him another.

"It's one of the least popular ones out there."

"Why is that?" Mason takes the book from me, putting it on top of the other books that are stacked in his arms.

"I'm not sure,"I shrug. "I thinks it's because there's not as many sex scenes or maybe because it's pretty dark." We both start walking back to the kitchen before they come searching for us.

"Finally,"Izzy cries dramatically. "I thought you guys would never come back."

"Stacie has a surprise for you guys." Mason lays out all the books while I grab a pen. I sigh each of the books, frowning when I notice that the second Raising Hell copy isn't there. Looking around, I spot Mason grinning and holding it.

"Thought I would give it a try." Bouncing on her feet and squealing, Izzy hugs me.

"I've been trying to get him to read one of your books for forever. How'd you do it?"

"Yeah. How did you do it?"Ethan drawls out, glancing at Mason with a look I can't decipher. Whatever it is, it makes Mason blush, surprising me. He doesn't strike me as the blushing kind.

"I just described it, is all."

"Must've described the whole book because y'all were in there forever,"Jessica pipes up, causing me to blush. Mason barks out a laugh which turns contagious and soon we're all laughing. My chest flutters with anxiety as I worry about Mason telling them what we talked about. That was the closest I've ever gotten to telling someone about my past. What if he tries to use it against me? Mason opens his mouth to speak, causing panic to shoot through my body and making my chest hurt.

"She did and once I learned there weren't very many sex scenes, I was in." Relief washes over me as we all laugh. Mason leans against the counter and looks up at me. Our eyes meet and I know that everything that we talked about in the office will stay there. My lips part in shock as I take in what his eyes hold; hope and for the first time in a while, I feel it too.

 **A/N- I just had to put some Greek Mythology in there. Once I had the idea in my head, I just had to do it. Greek Mythology is something that interests me and anytime I get the chance too, I talk about it. I hope you guys like it too. Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you continue to enjoy this story!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Mason

 _ **She felt a burning her chest that wouldn't go away and no matter how loud she screamed, nobody seemed to hear her. Eventually, she stopped. Why waste the time and energy when it was obvious no one cared enough to find her? Or maybe they couldn't. And what was that sensation she felt before she was pulled down and into the ground, traveling fast through the tunnels that lead to the underworld? It was almost comforting, caring; a feeling that she's never had before. Her mother didn't care and her father was too high up on his throne to pay attention.**_

 _ **So why did she feel...okay? Was something wrong with her? Why did she feel almost at home in this cold, dark place? It was almost like she belonged here but she didn't dare to think that. She was supposed to be angry at being ripped away from the surface and dragged down to Hell. Why would somebody take her from above just to leave her to rot in a cell?**_

 _ **The big question is, why couldn't she think of the surface as her home?**_

Stretching, I force my eyes away from the book, shocked at how entranced I am by it. It was like Stacie poured her soul out into this book. Even though I haven't known Stacie long, I can still tell how much of this relates to her. Why does she feel this way though? What happened to make her so...sad? It's like she's being tormented by something in her past and she can't seem to ask for help. Like asking for help is against her nature.

There's a sudden knock at my door, pulling me from my thoughts. Groaning, I reluctantly get up and open the door to a scowling Chloe and Beca.

"Everything okay?" I ask, gesturing for them to come in. I notice that Emily is asleep in a stroller and wonder what was so important that they had to come now.

"We need to talk about Stacie?" Chloe and Beca sit on my couch as I sit in the chair across from them.

"Okay. What about her?" I'm on full alert mode, ready to defend Stacie when not too long ago, I wasn't sure if she was even a good person. Now though, I know that she's haunted by demons from her past and for some reason, doesn't trust anybody to help her. There's a tense silence until Chloe finally speaks.

"She's still lying to us. We had her come to our apartment and when we tried talking to her, she flipped out. Especially when we told her that her foster parents were murdered." I jerk my head up at that.

"What?"

"Her foster parents were found shot to death a few days ago and we have no leads on who did it."

"I'm starting to think Stacie had something to do with it,"Beca whispers, her voice thick with tears.

"No way,"my voice comes out harsher than I mean it too and I instantly apologize. "Sorry, it's just, I don't think she's like that. She has a bad past, as do you two and I think we should try talking to her about it before we start jumping to conclusions." Beca narrows her eyes at me, a suspicious glint in them.

"Why do you care?"

"I've gotten to know her a little and she's actually not that bad. I see how you are friends with her. You are still friends, correct?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I want to be friends with someone who doesn't trust me enough to tell me about her past. Who knows how much of what she told me about her is real? I don't know who Stacie Conrad is. Hell, I'm not sure anybody does." Beca hangs her head and Chloe wraps an arm around her.

"What's this?"Chloe asks, picking up the book. "Raising Hell." At the name, Beca jerks her head up and stares at the book.

"Why do you have Stacie's book?" Beca stares me down until I talk.

"I saw it at the store and decided to try it." Trying to shrug it off, I grab the book and go to get up when Beca grabs my wrist, stopping me.

"No. I mean, why do you have _Stacie's_ book? This one isn't in stores." Frowning, I signal for her to continue which she does, sighing. "The cover is different. When she got the book published, her agent asked her to be on the cover, saying that it just seemed right. She agreed but after it was done, they canceled and redid it because she told them it was too personal. There's only a few copies with this cover so the only way you could've gotten this book is from Stacie herself."

I continue to frown as I stare at the cover. Sure enough, it's Stacie. Her hair is a light gray, almost white and her body is covered in vines. On the vines, blood red roses wilter, petals falling in a heap around her feet. She's turned so that only the side of her face is showing as she rests her forehead against the chest on the shadow of a tall, obviously fit man. Her hands grip his arms, a blood tear sliding down her cheek and the man's head just hangs in shame, his hands resting on her waist. So much emotion rushes at me as I analyze this photo. The agony and sadness is so powerful and overwhelming, I have to look away.

"How old was she?"I croak out, finding my way past the sudden lump in my throat. I can't cry in front of them. It would make me look like a big wimp.

"This was her first book published so she was 19, I think. I had been gone a few years by then, but we always kept in touch. When I came back to town and after everything with Aubrey and Jesse, she told me about this book." Wow. I didn't realize that she was so young when her books started being published.

"Have you read it?"I ask Beca and she just shakes her head.

"I haven't read any of her books. I'm not one for constant sex scenes, you know?"

"That's not what they are though,"I blurt out, surprising myself when not too long ago, I was disgusted by the thought of even touching one of these books. "She puts so much emotion in them, so much passion and I've only read a few pages out of this one."

"Hmm, maybe I will."Beca shrugs and Chloe taps on her shoulder, showing her the time.

"We should probably go. It's getting late. If you find out anything or hear any suspicious stuff, let me know."Chloe says, an edge to her voice like she's threatening me. Narrowing my eyes, I stay silent and just nod. They leave and I lay out on my couch, going over all the sides to Stacie that I've seen.

There's the first time I met her. She seemed like a worried friend with a lot of guilt hanging off of her. Then, she was just rude. When she came back to the hospital, then the parking lot. She seemed….lost like she wasn't sure how to act. Now, I've seen her soft side and how much she cares for people, not to mention what she would do for people. I've seen all of these but which one is the real one? Maybe she doesn't even know.

 **Amelia**

 **My fingers tap the steering wheel as I stare at Stacie's house. Anger boils and threatens to spill over. I need to do something about her. Too long I've let her ruin my life. Now, it's time I ruin hers. I look through the phone book and dial her home number. She doesn't answer so I leave her a voicemail.**

" **Hello, darling. I'm going to assume that you're listening. Good because I want you to hear this. You honestly thought that I would just stay away. That if you just stayed quiet that I wouldn't come for you. Now, that's not very nice of you to avoid your own dear mother like that." Movement stirs her curtains and I laugh.**

" **So you are listening. Go on and look out your window. That person in the car, that's me. I like your house. It's a pretty nice, too simple for me, but I'm thoroughly impressed. You've built a life for yourself. I would've figured you'd be far away from here by now." I pause and snap my fingers, signaling for my employee to start moving. He runs up to her porch and sets the box down, while I keep talking.**

" **I better go now,"I say, sighing like I'm disappointed. "This was a nice chat but I'm starting to feel a bit crazy just talking into a phone like this. We'll have to get together sometime. Have a real talk, maybe drink some tea. Well, anyhow, I've got to go. But before I do, I want to let you know something. I know about the Conrad's death, in fact, I ordered it. They told me that someone's been asking about you. A cop as a matter of fact. That worries me, dear. We can't have somebody digging around. Of course, they won't find anything, not unless you talk. So, that being said, I've left you a present in hopes that you'll keep that moronic mouth of your's shut. Be a dear and listen to mommy for once." I hang up and watch as she opens her door, grabbing the box and surprising me when she brings it off the porch and in the yard. Obviously, she knows me too well. She grabs a stick and pries it open. I quickly calculate how close she is too it and smile. She's close enough.**

 **Suddenly, there's a big bang and a flash as the box explodes. Stacie flies through the air but with all the smoke, I can't see where she lands. Satisfied, I pull away, laughing. That'll teach her.**

 **A/N- sorry it's been a little since I've updated. Whole family has been sick so it's been crazy. Hope that you guys like it and I will soon update the next one!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Stacie

I've always known that my mother is crazy. It just took me a long time to admit it. She never held me or cooked for me. Just stood there and made me do it or hired people to do it. I thought that I did something wrong. That I did something that made me so unlovable that even my own mother couldn't stand to look at me most of the time. I always hoped that maybe, just maybe that she pretended to be that way just to keep my father happy. That she was scared of him and didn't want to make him mad. That she really loved me. Sometimes, I still find myself wondering that, hoping that she would someday wake up and realize that she loves me. That will never happen though and I hate that it took me so long to figure it out. When I finally realized that it would never happen, I shut down.

 _11 years old_

" _You're weak, pathetic. I can't bare to look at you. Haven't I taught you better?" My father screams, his face red, spit flying everywhere. Shaking, I get up and lunge toward him, letting my anger take over and fists fly. Shockingly enough, I actually hit him. Not very hard, but enough to stun him. He smiles twistedly at me and actually jumps in joy._

" _Atta girl. Now, do it again." Joy fills my heart at being able to finally do something right. It instantly goes away when he punches me as hard as he can in the face. I fall backward and land on the concrete, hard._

" _What the hell was that?"My father stalks toward me and starts throwing me around like a ragdoll. I try to block out the pain, but a forbidden tear leaks out. My father curses and grabs me by the hair, lifting me up and preceding to scream and spit some more. My gaze wonders and I spot my mom, just watching me. I wonder what she thinks when she looks at me. Most of the time, she has a look of disgust like she can't believe she gave birth to me. Does she know that I watch her sometimes? That when I do, all I can think of is how beautiful she is and why can't I be just like her? We have the same hair and eye color. Once, a guest came over and told her that we're practically twins. So why does she look at me like that? What did I do to make her hate me?_

 _Suddenly, she smiles at me and I frown, confused. When my father punches me in the stomach, making me cry out, her smile gets bigger. I plead with my eyes that she'll help me but all she does is laugh. It becomes full on hysterical when my father throws me across the room. Everything is in slow motion as I fly backward and slam into the wall. Both of my parents are doubled over laughing and spots cover my vision. Everything hurts and I wish to just die. My head feels fuzzy and I can feel myself being tugged under. So I let go, hoping to just go to sleep. A part of me hopes that I won't wake up._

That memory hits me like a freight train when I hear my mother's cold, emotionless voice play out of the speakers. I start to shake and move to the curtains, taking a peek outside. I'm very surprised when she tells me that she's outside. How does she know that I won't call the cops or go out there and shoot her myself? What am I thinking? Of course she knows I won't do that. She knows that I won't be like her or my father. Especially after what happened with him.

"...I've left you a present in hopes that you'll keep that moronic mouth of your's shut. Be a dear and listen to mommy for once." I put those thoughts to the side and go to the door. I know that I should call the cops or something but I also know that my mother is dangerous. She would do anything- hurt anybody- to get what she wants. It's better for everybody if I just handle this on my own. I open the door and pause, staring at the box. What the hell could it be? Definitely not anything good, that's for sure. Just in case, I bring it out into the yard, trying hard not to focus on the car that my mother is in. Or so she says.

Picking up a stick that's only a few feet long, I use it to slowly open the box. The top flap is pushed to the side and I slowly start to lift the other one. My heart stops when I see the bomb tucked inside. I start to turn but it's too late. There's a loud bang and a wave of heat hits me, lifting me up and into the air. Once again, everything moves in slow motion. I watch through the smoke as the car my mother is supposedly in, drives away. My eye wanders and I notice a man in black, running off. She didn't even give her minion a ride, but that doesn't surprise me.

I hit a tree with a crunch and crumple to the ground, pain radiating everywhere. My body feels like it's on fire and I can't help but twitch, even though every movement sends a lighting bolt of pain all over my body. Tears of agony cascade down my face and I grip the grass in my hands, tearing it out of the ground. I know I should try to call an ambulance or something but I can't seem to connect any thoughts. All that's registering is pure pain. My ears are ringing but I can faintly hear muffled sirens.

My chest rattles as I exhale heavily. My eyes start to shut and I just….let go. Black swarms across my vision as I shut them, wanting the pain to be gone.

 **Mason**

" **Izzy,"I call out, surprised to see her. She smiles and prances over to me. "What are you doing here? I'm working and I thought you needed to head back to campus early."**

" **Nope,"Izzy shakes her head. "I have to stay here until I'm done with the articles over Stacie and they extended our break. Apparently, there was a fire that destroyed some of the college. Enough that we have to wait a few more days."**

" **Not to be rude, but why are you here at the hospital?"**

" **I was going to hang out with Stacie since it's not too late, but she's not answering. I thought you might know where she is." I shrug and Izzy frowns. "Why are you here though? Weren't you off tonight?"**

" **I got called into an emergency surgery, which sucked because I started that book and it was pretty good." Izzy raises an eyebrow and laughs.**

" **Raising Hell? I didn't think you would actually read it." I sling my arm around her shoulders and we head toward the front of the hospital so I can clock out.**

" **Of course. Stacie explained it to me and I figured it couldn't hurt." Izzy opens her mouth to say something when paramedics rush through the emergency doors, wheeling a person in on a gurney. The trauma doctor starts to jog beside them and they're almost down the hall when I hear them.**

" **Woman in her late 20's. Drivers license says her name is Stacie Conrad." There's a roaring in my ears as I run after them, Izzy right behind me. I stop one of the nurses who glares before she recognizes me.**

" **What's going on? What happened to her?"**

" **The police think it was a bomb. That's all I know." The nurse gives me a sympathetic look.**

" **Keep me updated, okay?" She nods and turns around, following Stacie.**

" **Mason, what's going on? Is she okay? Please say she's okay." I force tears back and just wrap Izzy in a hug.**

" **I don't know,"sobs rack through Izzy's body and I just hug her. A few minutes later, she stands up straight, wiping her face.**

" **We should call everybody and let them know. They'll want to be here for her." I nod and Izzy precedes to start calling people. I'm pretty sure Stacie doesn't have any family that will be here for her so the least I could do is let my family be here. She may have only met them recently, but already she's a part of our family whether she likes it or not.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Mason

I pace the waiting room, anxious to hear about Stacie. It's been several hours already and I know that it can't be good. My parents are sitting down, holding each other's hands. Jessica is asleep and has her head resting on Ethan's shoulder. Izzy is splayed out on several chairs, asleep. I wince empathetically at the crick she'll have in her neck when she wakes up.

"Mason,"Beca's voice suddenly sounds out from across the waiting room. Chloe is behind her holding Emily and Beca's parents trail behind. Beca hugs me before slapping me on the arm.

"Why didn't you call me as soon as you heard about it?" My hands fist in anger but I keep my voice calm.

"I'm sorry. From the way you were speaking about Stacie, I thought you hated her."

"She lied to me about who she is. I have a right to hate her. I don't but I should." Anger flares in Beca's eyes, but it doesn't scare me. Just makes me angrier.

"If you gave her time to explain, she may have a good reason. Maybe she isn't ready or she's keeping it a secret for a reason. Have you thought about that?" My voice raises a little and Izzy- hair ruffled from sleep- puts her hand on my chest, calming me down.

"Guys, it doesn't matter what we think about her. What matters is if she's okay and figuring out what happened."

"I have an idea,"Chloe pipes up, bouncing Emily up and down. "Of what happened, I mean." Exasperated, I sigh and signal for her to continue.

"The officers on the scene found remnants of what looks like a box so I think that somebody left it on her doorstep. Stacie, being smart, took it out into the yard to open it. They said that based on her injuries, she had to be standing a few feet away from the box so I think she used something long to open it from afar. She didn't have time to run when it exploded. The paramedics said that if she had been standing any closer, she probably would be dead."

"Who would send her a bomb?"Izzy whispers, her voice trembling.

"The same person who killed her foster parents, I think. It makes sense. Now, we just have to figure out who. I have a feeling that Stacie might know."

"Stacie wouldn't just keep that to herself if she knew,"I yell, my hands shaking in anger. "She wouldn't do that."

"Do you actually know her that well?"Ethan says, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"As much as I want to defend her, you told me that you weren't sure if she was a good person,"Izzy tells me, a look of shame on her face. I grab her hand to show her I'm not angry with her for not taking my side.

"I know, I just don't want to believe that she would do something like that." Everybody nods and silence descends upon us and I get the feeling that storm is brewing. One that none of us should be around when it comes.

"Stacie Conrad?"Dr. Davis calls out. I walk up to her and hold out my hand for the clipboard with Stacie's information on it. She hands it to me, knowing that I won't take no for an answer. We've known each other for years so she trusts me.

"Can you tell us how she is?"My mom asks, holding onto my dad's arm for support. My heart warms at how much they already love Stacie.

"She has a few minor burns, several broken ribs which one punctured a lung. We had to do surgery and everything went great. If you guys want to go see her, you can."

"All of us?"Jessica asks and I answer before Dr. Davis can.

"Yes, her injuries aren't too severe other than the punctured lung." Everybody nods their heads and we follow Dr. Davis to Stacie's room.

"Sorry,"I say, handing the clipboard back to Dr. Davis and she just shakes her head.

"It's okay. I understand,"she smiles and pats me on the shoulder. "She must be special. I've never seen you like this." Frowning, I walk into the room and gasp. Stacie looks horrible. There's a few bandaged spots on her neck that lead down and on her chest. Her face looks gaunt and is covered in scratches and there are dark bags under her eyes. She looks over at me, her eyes projecting obvious fear and sadness. Slowly, I wade past my family and over to her, where I grab her cold hand.

"How are you feeling?" I ask softly and I see her eyes tear up.

"I'm..fine."Her voice is hoarse and everytime she inhales, her chest rattles. "Just..a little...banged..up."

"Stacie, you almost died,"Izzy cries out, coming over and hugging Stacie, careful of her injuries. A tear rolls down Stacie's face and she quickly wipes it away.

"Sweetheart, it's okay to cry,"my mom softly whispers, coming up beside Izzy and grabbing Stacie's free hand. Everybody follows suit until there's not a spot around Stacie that isn't occupied. Even Beca and her family joined.

"We're here for you, girl,"Jessica cheers and everybody agrees. "Whatever you need, we'll take care of it."

"Th..thank you,"Stacie chokes on tears, which fall down her cheeks in waterfalls now. I notice that Beca is looking at Stacie almost in shock as if she's never seen her cry. She notices me looking and leans toward me.

"I've only seen her cry a few times and definitely never this...freely."Beca whispers. She shakes her head and shifts away from me and toward Chloe. Stacie squeezes my hand, making me turn my attention back to her.

"Seriously though, are you in any pain?" Stacie shakes her head but I can tell she's lying. Even breathing seems to be a chore for her. Silence descends upon us, creating tension in the room. Everybody wants to ask the question, but nobody knows how to. Izzy is finally the one to ask.

"Stacie,"Izzy starts, unsure. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes, someone tried to blow me up." Stacie's voice is flat.

"Do you know who did it?"Once again, silence washes over us until all we can hear is Stacie's rattled breathing. I can see so many emotions raging through Stacie's eyes until she finally speaks.

"Yes, I do,"she says, her voice full of pain and what she says next shocks me and everybody in the room. "The person who tried to blow me up is my mother."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Stacie

"The person who tried to blow me up is my mother,"I say and everybody gasps. Mason's hand tightens around mine and I squeeze, letting him know I'm not going anywhere. Not this time. I'm so tired of running from my problems when I was taught to do the exact opposite of that. Yes, my father was a douche but he got that philosophy right. All his other ones are don't forget to count your exits and observe everybody in the area. Don't show pain, it's a weakness. Stuff like that. Most he drilled into me and they stayed but not the one that really mattered. Face your problems instead of running away. I took the running away part and literally ran with it.

"Why would your mother do that?"Chloe asks, her arm resting on Beca's shoulders. I smile, glad that Beca has her. Especially when I can't be there for her.

"My mom is not a very nice lady. She doesn't consider me her daughter. Just the thing that ruined her life." I look down at my lap, tears still spilling down my cheeks.

"Stacie,"Chloe starts. "Is it possible that your mother also killed your foster parents?" I nod.

"Wait, I'm confused,"Izzy speaks up, shaking her head. "Why would your mother do that and why do you have foster parents exactly?" I sigh, realizing that I'm going to have to explain everything. Or at least most of it.

"My dad and mom have never really taken care of me. My dad….he had his own way of dealing with me. Neglecting was my mother's way. Growing up, I slowly grew to hate them and ran away multiple times. They found me everytime and each time the punishment was horrible." I wince at the memories and by the look in everybody's eyes, they notice. "Eventually, they got tired of it and made a deal with me. I could go live with some strangers as long as I came home on the weekends and summers. So I took it but not long after arriving at the Conrad's, I took off."

For a couple of weeks, I got away with it. I was enrolled in the school where I met Beca, but I was actually living on the streets. One of my parents people found me and brought me home. My mother told me that I could go to the school there, but I had to find a way there and back. So I walked there every Monday morning and during the week, stayed on the streets or in shelters. Every Friday, I went back to them."

"I don't get it,"Jessica interrupts. "If they gave you a house to live in during the week, why did you run away?"

"Because I was a scared, rebellious fourteen year old. I did everything I could to defy what my parents told me to do, no matter the consequences."

"So if you're name was changed to Stacie Conrad, what's your actual name?" Beca asks and my eyes widen in horror as I stare at Chloe, knowing she'll recognize my real last name.

"Before I tell you that, I have to tell you what my parents did. My dad was the leader of a drug cartel. I never had any part in it. He tried making me do stuff for him, but I refused so he stuck with...training me." Chloe urges me to continue. "My name is Stacie White. My parents are Eli and Amelia White."

"Oh my god,"Chloe yells. "Even though they've been down for several years, we've been trying to track down the leaders. Could you give me a location of where your parents are?" Mason squeezes my hand, bring my attention on him.

"Didn't you say your dad was murdered?" Swallowing hard, I nod. Chloe asks me when and how.

"I was 18. Beca had just recently left. I was still going back and forth to my parents house and that summer, I had planned on never coming back." Tears fill my eyes as I picture him in my mind. "I had met him just a year before but I knew that I loved him. Enough to completely seperate myself from my parents."

"Was this Ben?" Izzy whispers and I nod.

"I never told him about my family and how crazy they were. How cruel they could be and maybe that was my mistake. He insisted on meeting them, to get their blessing to marry me. So I took him to meet them-after lots of begging on his part- and when I introduced him to my dad, I instantly regretted it. He pretended to like him and even showed us to a room. That night, we made the mistake of talking about…" I pause, my voice fading away, sorrow too deep. Shaking my head, I continue.

"Anyway, we were talking and my dad overheard. He got angry and wouldn't accept the fact that I was finally happy. So he grabbed a gun and shot Ben." I stop and look over at Chloe, who has tears in her eyes. "Can you promise that I won't go to jail for this?"

"Was it in self defense?" I nod. "I can't promise anything, but I will try my best." Satisfied with that, I finish.

" **No!" I scream, dropping to my knees and crawling over to Ben. His usual tan face is pale and his golden hazel eyes are now dull. He convulses, blood coming out of the corner of his mouth. My heart feels like it's getting ripped to pieces, slowly.**

" **I...love..you,"Ben struggles to get out, his chest heaving with effort. His once brown, checkered shirt, is now stained with blood, bring up too many memories of my lying where he is now. Only, he's dying and I'm stuck here, with my father.**

" **Why?"I pull Ben into my chest, rocking back and forth, agony rippling through me. "Why would you do this? What did I ever do to you?" My father just stands there, panting and sweating. Anger is still evident in his eyes but for once, I'm not afraid for me but for-**

" **You want to know why?"His dark voice cuts through my thoughts like a sharp knife. "You are the reason why I do this. You've always been pathetic and being with him will make it even worse. I hate you but I'm saving you from the pain of being let down. Eventually, he would've woke up one day and realized what a worthless bitch you really are."**

" **Shut up!"I scream, tired of putting up with this. "I'm done. I had hoped that maybe you would find a way to push past your hatred for me to give B-ben your blessing. It meant so much to him." Sobbing, I stare down at the love of my life, now just an empty shell of nothing. It should be me dead, not him. I feel like it is me. All emotion is just gone and in place of them is a cold, numb feeling spreading slowly across my body.**

" **You will never be done with me," my dad roars and runs, slamming me into the wall. Pain slices all throughout my body, but I ignore it and focus on fighting back. All the anger built up is finally let loose but even that isn't enough to beat him. Whereas I have a conscience, he doesn't. He starts beating me, kicking me everywhere, making me cry out in pain and frustration.**

 **Somehow through the pain, I manage to grab ahold of a glass cabinet full of my dad's collector knives. I would've preferred the gun one but that's all the way across the room. It crashes to the floor and my dad gasps, stepping back and giving me enough time to grab one and hide it. Slowly but painfully, I stand up keeping the knife to my side.**

" **I am warning you,"I start, my voice hoarse. "Don't come any closer." My dad takes that as a challenge instead of a threat and comes at me again. This time, he doesn't even get one hit in. The knife slides into his stomach a lot easier than I would've thought. Blood pours over my already bloody hand, coating it. My dad grabs my hand and it hits me. This is the first time that he's ever held my hand. A laugh bubbles up in my throat but I push it down and leave my dead father to go sit by Ben. Setting his head on my lap, I wait there ignoring the burning pain that shouldn't be there.**

"My mother found me like that and actually thought I killed Ben until she saw Eli. That's when all hell broke loose. She got several of her guards to force me out of the house and that was that. I don't know what she did with my father's body and I haven't been back since." Everybody remains silent, taking in everything I just told them.

"What about Ben?" Beca asks softly. I give her a weak smile.

"He was found a day later in an alley. They ruled it a mugging and had a funeral for him. His parents took me in for a while after realizing that I was hurt. I just told everybody I was in the alley too but couldn't remember anything. When they saw my injuries, they believed me." I say all of this with no emotion, my voice flat and even.

"So why is your mom back now?" Ethan asks, making me remember how many other people are also in the room.

"I'm going to guess it has something to do with Charles and Eleanor. They must've contacted her or something. They didn't like my mother but she had them wrapped around her finger." Chloe opens her mouth to say something else, but Beca stops her.

"I think that's enough for now." Everybody agrees, seeing the exhaustion on my face. This is the most I've thought and talked about my past in several years. They all slowly leave the room, saying words of encouragement, but I don't hear any of it. Too busy thinking about everybody who was killed that day, in my father's house. A part of me died that day along with Ben and my dad. There's a hole in my heart where there shouldn't be.

"Get some sleep,"Mason's voice drifts down, gently easing me out of my thoughts. "I'll be back later." Without thinking, I grab his hand.

"Could you please stay?" Smiling, he nods and kisses me on my forehead before sitting down, never letting go of my hand. A part of me died but I finally have hope that it can slowly grow back into something else. Something better.

 **A/N- Sorry it's been awhile since I've updated. I have so many other ideas floating around in my head, it's hard to stay focused on this one. I will never give up on a story though so I'll continue this one for a little before moving onto other fanfics.**


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